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  • Joneen Wilson

4 brazen ways to get to know your date better



Holiday decorations have been up since sometime in October. You can now get a pumpkin spice flavored drink at the local coffee shop. It's sweater weather and soon there may be a little snow. We are creeping toward that season in which plentiful are the reminders of the world’s greatest love story –a God who loved to death. Some of you are blessed with a beloved to share this magical season with.


Perhaps, you are in a serious relationship. Maybe marriage isn’t around the corner, but you are thinking about it. You could be just wondering if the person who has become your significant other could be the person you spend the rest of your life with. Regardless of where you find yourself on the spectrum, a key part of the process is observing your special individual. This person has the potential to be the greatest blessing or the utmost curse. In any case, here are some activities to get to know each other a little bit more deeply.


Plan a Road Trip

Whether it’s chaperoning a group of teens to Generation. Youth. Christ, volunteering at Pathways to Health with a group of friends or taking the youth group to the One Project. Take some time to plan the trip together. If you pay attention, you’ll see some different sides of your lover.


Does she suggest you buy food and cook instead of eating out? What does he do when the tire goes flat or all the checked luggage goes missing? Can she keep within the budget? Does he plan for surprises? How does she handle the angry clients in the dental queue or the teen couple that sneaks out of the hotel room in the middle of the night? Does an argument break out? How do you guys handle it?

When you get back, sit down and talk about your experience. You can even take the opportunity to talk about how your parents handled money, learn about each other’s money personalities and how you expect to manage your finances in your relationship and even in a potential marriage.


Herd children for a day

During the holiday season, there are many a frazzled mother who would jump at the opportunity to get the kiddos out of her hair while she gets some much-needed holiday preparations out of the way. Take the opportunity to help out and babysit together. Plan some activities, prepare a healthy meal and even tuck them into bed.


How patient is he when each kid has a mind of its own? How does she react when the 3-year-old drops her iPhone? What does he do when the kids refuse to go to bed? Is she parent material? How does he discipline a child (refrain from spanking without the parent’s permission, please)? Do you work as a united front or divide up the roles?


Hopefully, you get the most difficult children born to the planet. Then, you will certainly have something to talk about when you are done! Get a feel for the parenting styles each of you grew up with. Find out how your partner feels about kids. Get inside his or her head about the babysitting experience.


Host Friendsmas or a Holiday Gathering

Everyone is getting together. This is season is a time for fun, festivities, and fellowship. It’s a great opportunity to gather some friends or family members together to celebrate. Cook some food or organize a potluck. Find a place to host it. Plan some activities to bond with. You might learn a lot.


He is a super extravert? Does she prefer a small group? Does he take your concerns or preferences into account? Does she think about people who would otherwise have no place to go? Does he like to have a kitchen full of people or he prefers to cook solo? Who did the cooking? Who washes up afterward? Who entertains the guests?


Don’t forget to talk about the experience. It’s a great chance to talk about how you celebrated the holidays growing up and how the chores were portioned out day today. You can even get a feel for how you expect to do social gatherings as a couple.


Read Together

There’s nothing like cuddling up to a good book on a cold rainy or snowy day (but, leave some space for Jesus ya'll). It’s even better to be read to. Take some time to aloud read to your beloved. Perhaps, you’ll be all intense and read something like Ellen G. White’s Adventist Home. Maybe you’ll just read the Christmas Story from The Desire of Ages or the Bible. You could even get all nostalgic and read something from the Guide’s Greatest Collection or something from Dr. Rabbit. You could even get inspired to change the world by reading Half the Sky or simply change your health by cracking open The Daniel Plan.


If these activities take you a step closer to lifelong commitment, always keep in mind the words of a very wise woman. “Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life both in this world and in the world to come…. Those who are contemplating marriage should consider what will be the character and influence of the home they are founding.”


What are you doing this holiday season to better get to know your significant other?


Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash